


Don't Shoot the Messenger

by localsuccubus



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Origins
Genre: F/M, Fluff, because they're technically together but loghain is endgame, lowkey zevran/warden, the warden is a mess
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-08
Updated: 2020-09-08
Packaged: 2021-03-06 19:14:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,076
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26364022
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/localsuccubus/pseuds/localsuccubus
Summary: Grey Warden Ailonwy Tabris would rather fall on her sword than ask Loghain Mac Tir to sleep with Morrigan, but she ends up doing just that.
Relationships: Loghain Mac Tir/Female Tabris, Loghain Mac Tir/Female Warden, Loghain Mac Tir/Warden
Comments: 2
Kudos: 14





	Don't Shoot the Messenger

**Author's Note:**

> Shout out to @wendigogirl for beta reading this and all the other fics I send her way ♥  
> Anyways, my Warden is a mess and I love her and she would not handle asking Loghain to do the dark ritual as well as the game portrays.

Ailonwy blinked for a third and then a fourth and then finally a fifth time before an incredulous “Excuse me?" spilled from her lips and her eyebrows shot all the way up. She was currently seated in a chair by the hearth, but she was so far on the edge of it that if she moved just more inch she would fall off. 

Morrigan sighed in aggravation and she roughly rubbed the bridge of her nose. "I am not repeating myself, you insolent woman! You have heard my request three times now, you do understand what I am saying, yes? Or were all the poor innuendos you’ve spouted the entire year just for show?" 

Ailonwy quickly leapt from her chair, waving her hands around. "No! I know! I just—

“Maker, you can't expect _me_ to ask him to do this!” she said, a hint of desperate pleading in her voice. “You've seen Loghain! He's big and angry and he will most definitely say no to this and then guess what else he's gonna do! He's gonna shoot the messenger and oh! _I'm_ the messenger. What a funny coincidence and I will most certainly die not only by his hand but also from embarrassment!” 

She began to pace back and forth on the large plush Orlesian rug that laid on the floor, a hand on her forehead almost covering her frantic countenance. Ailonwy was sure that if she moved any faster she would be able to burn a hole into the floor. 

"Why can't you ask him?” she asked finally after her tenth time around the rug. “You're so pretty, Morrigan, just march right in there, swaying hips and all, and use your wily witchy ways to make him say yes! And I guarantee Loghain will swoon, he'll be like—" Ailonwy suddenly stopped in front of the witch and she furrowed her brows, set a deep frown on her face, and tried to deepen her voice. "Oh Morrigan, you are so beautiful. I can no longer fight my feelings for you. Come! Let us make love!

"And then the two of you will have sex and it's fervent and hot and then uh oh! What's this? You realize it's no longer about the ritual, you're actually passionately in love and you guys fornicate all through the night! And it's very sweet and romantic! However, all of a sudden, I walk in? Pardon me, I didn't even know this was going on! But you guys don’t mind, in fact you invite me to join—" 

" _Ailonwy_!"

"I'm sorry," Ailonwy said solemnly, immediately shutting up and sitting down on the edge of the large guest bed, a look of shame on her face. She was hoping she had made a good pitch, _she_ had thought it was good, but unfortunately the witch was immune to Ailonwy’s impeccable charms and she didn’t know why. 

Morrigan suddenly moved from the middle of the room to stand in front of her, the flame of the fireplace behind her burning brightly, illuminating the witch imposingly. “If I were to ask him he would most certainly say no. You, however, can command him to do it.”

Ailonwy’s frown deepened more. “I don’t want to exercise my power like that. I’m not that kind of person and you know it.” 

“Indeed, a flaw of yours which you will need to remedy,” Morrigan said with a chuckle, and Ailonwy couldn’t help but lift her lips a little at the corner. Ever since she became the leader of their little band of misfits she always tried her best to direct them, but also remind them of their autonomy. Loghain was a special case, however. Since she was senior Grey Warden to him, he technically had to listen to her and, knowing how much of a stickler he was for one’s duty, he probably would have listened to her if she had commanded him to. She didn’t want to do that, though.

“If you would rather, Ailonwy,” Morrigan spoke, interrupting her thoughts. “Consider Zevran. What do you think he would advise if he knew the life of his beloved was at risk?” 

That had struck a chord and Ailonwy sighed, running her fingers through her wild curls that seemed to be more untamed than usual tonight. When Riordan had told them a life had to be sacrificed to defeat the Archdemon there was no doubt in her mind that she was going to deliver the final blow. The Orlesian Warden had insisted that he would do it but Ailonwy had a bad feeling that despite how confident he sounded he wouldn’t make it that far. So that only left her and Loghain and she already knew that it was going to be her, it had to be her. She wouldn’t let Loghain die.

However, she had failed to even think about Zevran until now. She loved Zevran, more than anything, and she was suddenly overcome with the terrible thought of the pain he would go through should she die. She didn’t want that for him but nor did she want Loghain to die either. 

She knew what she had to do. 

“Alright Morrigan,” she said, looking up at the witch who was peering down at her with anticipation. “I’ll do it, I'll ask him.” 

“Finally, a wise decision from you.” Morrigan moved away from her to sit at the chair Ailonwy had previously been sitting, a triumphant smile on her face. “I shall wait here while you go and speak with Loghain. I urge you to be convincing. However, I have come to learn that you have no trouble with that.’ 

Ailonwy smiled slightly at the compliment but it quickly disappeared as she left her guest room, closing the door quietly behind her. She hoped that the walk to Loghain’s room would give her enough time to really think about this proposition and maybe even turn it down, but she mentally cursed herself as she remembered Loghain’s room was directly across from hers as she gave the wooden door a harsh glare. 

So instead of having a nice walk she just stood there, silently panicking. How would she go about this? Should she just knock right now and get it over with? Maybe he wasn’t even in there. Oh no if he wasn’t in there then should she just wait outside? That would be kind of awkward, just standing in the hallway, waiting for Loghain to return from wherever he went to ask him to sleep with Morrigan.

_Gah, Ailonwy! Just do it!_ she mentally hissed at herself. She took a deep breath before she firmly knocked on his door. She didn’t even have to wait a single minute before it flung open and he stood there before her, the usual scowl on his face. He was out of his armor and wore a simple black tunic that matched his black trousers.

"Ailonwy? I am surprised to see you are still awake,” he said, his expression softening as he looked down at her. She almost smiled at that, a small triumph that he didn’t have to put up a guarded and angry front for her. “Is there something you require of me?”

“Yes! I um...” 

“Well don’t stand there, come in,” he spoke, interrupting her before he opened his door wider. 

She mumbled a quiet thank you and she slipped in and she knew her fate was sealed when she heard the sound of the door closing behind her. Once she was inside she felt even more awkward and uncomfortable. For some reason being in his room made everything seem more personal and intimate and she felt trapped. She didn’t know what to do with herself. Should she sit? Should she stand? Eventually she decided that standing would be better because if she sat down she might feel even more confined, and if she was standing and chickened out she could at least run for the door. 

She turned around to find Loghain looking at her expectantly, his arms crossed over his broad chest. He looked really good in the black tunic and she wished it was her sleeping with him instead. She hated how she didn’t mind at all asking him for sex, but she was about to wet her pants doing it for Morrigan. 

"Loghain, you and I are friends, right?" she said, trying to dance around the situation. 

Loghain chuckled at that as he settled himself on the ottoman in front of the bed, Ailonwy following his movements. "Is that what you would call this? Friendship?" 

"Ouch, okay, I didn't think that would hurt but it did. There are so many surprises tonight." 

Loghain gave her a wry smile. "I suppose I can call you a friend."

"No, no, now you're just saying that to make me feel better."

"Is there an actual reason for why you are here or did you just wish to annoy me one last time?" 

Ailonwy almost let out a groan. _He’s so straight the point, blasted stoic broody soldier._

Taking a deep breath, she turned away from him so he wouldn't see her knitted brows and the deep frown on her face as she tried to think about how she was going to go about this. Ailonwy could be a bit ridiculous sometimes, everyone knew her as a card making perverse jokes and crude statements that none of them would take seriously. In fact, she was sure she had said worse things to Loghain than asking him to sleep with Morrigan, but for some reason this was making her so nervous. Was it because she was being serious? This wasn’t some jest that he could ignore and roll his eyes at.

_She was seriously asking Loghain to have sex with Morrigan._

“If you’ve finished monologuing to yourself, I would like an answer.” 

Ailonwy jumped and she turned to face him, an anxious look on her face. “Oh Creators, did you hear that?”

Loghain rolled his eyes, crossing his arms over his chest. “No, but one can assume that is what you are doing when you stand there silently flailing your arms about.”

Ailonwy suddenly slapped her arms to her side. Traitors. If her animated arms were a person they would have left her at Ostagar. “Loghain, we need to talk.” 

Loghain raised a black eyebrow at her wording.

“Oh? Are you going to break up with me?” he joked. 

She smiled. “If you and I were together, you know for a fact it would be the other way around.” 

To that comment he threw his head back laughing and Ailonwy felt a swell of pride over the fact that she was able to make him laugh. “Right you are there, elf.” 

“Now,” he said as he shifted himself in his seat and Ailonwy could tell from his expression he was being completely serious. “Enough with the frivolities, why are you here, Ailonwy? This is the last time I am going to ask.”

Ailonwy blanched at that, and she began to nervously tug at her curls, her eyes looking anywhere except him. “Well I, um, let’s see...I came here today. Tonight. To talk...to you...and to ask...you...a teeny-tiny favor. Actually, scratch that, not a teeny-tiny favor, it’s more like a huge enormous favor and it’s a favor that I’m hoping that you might say yes to. But who knows? I don’t know, you don’t know, you don’t even know the favor—”

“I would like to know the favor.”

Ailonwy began to tug at her hair faster and she wished she had chosen to sit down because she was sure her legs were shaking now. “Right, yes. Of course you would. Because that’s you, good ol’ Teyrn Loghain Mac Favor Tir. That’s what they call you because you accept favors. Tons of them, actually. You know what? Freeing Ferelden from the Orlesians was a favor, a huge favor. A favor you did for Maric and that’s why they call you Loghain Mac Favor Tir, really it’s brilliant. I—”

“Ailonwy!”

“I need you to sleep with Morrigan so we don’t die!”

There! She had said it and she wouldn’t have to say it again. It was all out in the open and from the look on his face, she immediately knew that wasn’t a good thing. 

Loghain’s brows were so furrowed that she was sure they were about to touch and he just looked at her. He held that confused and concerned look on his face before he finally sighed and ran his palm right over his face. “Ailonwy, I have given you so many chances to be serious, but if you are...

She suddenly got hot as she felt a slight spark of anger. “I am being serious! Why would I jokingly ask you to sleep with Morrigan? First of all, I would jokingly ask you to sleep with me. Actually, no, I would be more serious about that and we can discuss that at a later—”

“Why are you asking me to sleep with Morrigan?” he interrupted. 

Ailonwy sighed and she simply fell to the floor in front of him, thankful for the same plush Orlesian rug also being placed in his room. “Because she has...this ritual of sorts that could save us apparently. She needs a Grey Warden to sleep with her, and before you ask, no, Riordan can’t do it because apparently he’s too old Grey Warden age-wise and you’re not, because you just took your Joining, so you’re like a fresh Grey Warden baby.”

She paused. “Which is also, by the way, what she needs. A baby. To be more specific she’s going to be having _your_ baby. Your Grey Warden baby.” 

Loghain looked like he was going to hurl the ottoman at her and she honestly wouldn’t blame him. “What in Andraste’s fucking ass does that mean? She is going to have my child?”

“Apparently. She said that if you...donate her your...goods, she can conceive a child and when we slay the Archdemon, the Archdemon will be like ‘ooh I love babies’ and then its soul will go the child instead of one of us and the child would apparently be a fucking beast, because it wouldn’t die and instead the Old God’s soul will now reside in the child, sparing us from our certain demise.” 

“You’re mad,” he said as if it was some sort of realization. “Did you hit your head on the way to your room? Which would be a very impressive feat considering the door frame is more than half your height but I’m certain you must have injured yourself somewhere. Or maybe you were always this daft and I just failed to realize it until now, which I shall say is my own fault and I shall take the blame for that”

“Loghain, please!” she beseeched from the floor. “I’m being serious!” 

“So am I.'' He stood suddenly and walked towards the hearth, his back turned towards her. “I am not going to sleep with her, Ailonwy, so she can produce some sort of demonic child. Consider the trouble that could come from this, not only for me but for Anora as well. I will not do it.” He paused, then turned towards her. “How do you even know her ritual is legitimate?” 

Ailonwy snorted and she placed her hands behind her so she could lean back on her arms. “Well, for starters, do you think that Morrigan would willingly, out of her own volition, want to sleep with you? No offense.”

Loghain scoffed. “None taken. I should never underestimate your capacity to do the unexpected,” he said as he moved from the hearth towards her. Loghain then knelt in front of her, his height letting him tower over her despite them both being seated.

“Ailonwy, listen to me.” It almost seemed like he was going to reach for her but at the last second decided not to. She wished he would. “None of this is necessary. If Riordan fails, simply let me take the final blow. Let me make amends for what I have done if it comes to that.” 

Ailonwy’s frown deepened and personal barriers be damned, she reached for his hand. “Don’t you see? I don’t want that, Loghain.” 

His eyes widened at her sudden declaration but he stayed quiet and listened to her. 

“That is why I'm even proposing this at all,” she said. “I don’t want you to die either. I didn’t spare your life at the Landsmeet just to let you throw it away later. I care for you, I really do. A wise old grumpy man once told me it's harder to send another man to die and he was absolutely right. _I_ am the senior Grey Warden and if it does come to it _I_ will take the final blow, and Maker I will fight you for it I swear.” 

Ailonwy let go of his hands with a sigh and she stood up from the ground. “I do not want you to die, nor do I want to die either,” she said quietly, giving him a mournful look. “But I would never ask you to do anything you wouldn’t want to do. Especially in this aspect. I respect your decision, Loghain. Have a good night, I pray Riordan will make it to the Archdemon.”

Ailonwy turned to leave but she was stopped by Loghain’s hand grabbing her arm so roughly that she almost fell backward. She turned to look up at him as he rose from the floor and she was surprised to see such an openly concerned and earnest expression on his face. "Ailonwy, I was jesting earlier, but I have truly come to think of you as a friend.” 

He faltered for a second as if he was second-guessing himself but he then continued. “If both Riordan and I fall tomorrow then it will be your life on the line and if I can do anything to prevent that I shall. I will do the ritual.”

"Oh, you will?" Ailonwy beamed, and before she could stop herself she embraced him. Before Loghain could yell at her for entering his personal space, she pulled away and grabbed his hand. "Come! There is no time to waste! Also if it helps, you can think of me." 

"Why would I think of you?" he hissed, following her out of the room. 

"Why wouldn't you is the bigger question." 


End file.
